The Five Year Freeze

So once you’ve been become an official member of the “Parent Cult” and have suffered through the initiation of sleep deprivation and the acceptance that YOUR life no longer revolves around YOU, the alumni will let you in on a little secret and their motto.
“This too shall pass and you WILL get your life back (well, the majority of it), just not until your child is an expert in using the potty, speaks fluent, understandable English and is in full-time Kindergarten.” And this is why I call it “The Five Year Freeze”. Life as you knew it, pre-children, will be put “on hold”.   If they are not “this tall” you don’t get to ride the ride, if they are not “this old” they are not invited to the party and if they are not “willing to participate and be on their best behavior”, you can pretty much just get use to living a sheltered, adult conversation less, home-body life with a consistent diet of microwaved mac n’ cheese and chicken nuggets, all while reciting every line from “FINDING NEMO” because you’ve watched it for the “it’s been too many you lost count” time.  But all this being said, my children have taught me patience, gratitude and unconditional love and without them I’d still just be my mother’s “it’s all about me, got ants in my pants, you already told me you loved me” daughter.